Can you trust me?

I have been asked that question countless times in the past few months by God. A question which seems easy enough to answer but which I find increasingly difficult especially in the face of life and its countless challenges. What does trust imply?

I am discovering that it’s fundamental to my perception and belief in him. I have to trust first that he is who he says he is. That’s a no brainer right? I have been a Christian for about thirty years. Shouldn’t I know him by now?jesus-christ

Actually, it’s not as simple as it’s made to seem. Trusting God is probably the hardest thing I can do. It almost feels like walking the plank and trusting that he is there to catch me before I end up at the bottom of the sea. Ouch!!!

Trust and Obey

I can’t see him, I don’t know when, how, or if he will choose to catch me but yet I have to trust and obey.

Trusting God starts with first believing that he is a rewarder of those who diligently seek him. Trusting God implies that I am convinced that he loves me and he cares about me. Trusting God implies that he has a plan for me and even if I can’t see or imagine or fathom that plan, he knows what he is doing.

Even if the twists and turns of life take me through unfamiliar and unwelcome territory, I must believe in his plans because I am assured that he knows what he is doing. We all have expectations of life. We have dreams, plans, preferences and trusting God implies that I have to lay down my preferences for his because I trust that he is wiser than me and most importantly is that I know that he sees the bigger picture.

I am increasingly looking at my life, and, though it seems that my life is not going according the way I want or how I would have planned it, I ask can I trust Him?

I am trying to. And I must admit that’s the most difficult thing I have had to do. Yet it also explains why God had to get my attention and ask me if I can trust Him?

Struggling

Even as I write these words, tears are welling up in my eyes as I know I am struggling to trust. If I had my way, I would have chosen a different path for my life and, try as I may, it almost seems that God has ring fenced my life to this point in order to get me to the point where I must trust Him.

In the good times and the bad times, I know He is faithful. In sickness and health, he is God and he’s working things out according to his plan and purposes. God makes all things beautiful in his time. Every time I fail to trust, I am doubting his existence, his faithfulness, his wisdom. Even though I want all his promises now, I choose to hold on and wait up.

So what if He doesn’t catch me and allows me to end up at the bottom of the ocean, I must still trust Him.

Adebola Ajayi

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